Out Here in The Middle: Changing America One Parent at a Time

Posted on by Jennifer Carole
Patricia Heaton as Frankie Heck on ABC’s The Middle.

I was extremely moved by the events in Arizona last weekend (and this week). I listened to President Obama’s speech, hanging on every word about the incredible people who died and those who survived the brutal attack. And I have been caught up in the national frustration this week of those of us who want everyone to settle down.

“All of us — we should do everything we can to make sure this country lives up to our children’s expectations.” – Barack Obama (transcript)

I feel like Patricia Heaton’s character, Frankie Heck caught in The Middle. The show often opens with; “out here in The Middle…” referring not just to the middle of our country but also to the great unwashed masses of us who are simply doing our best to live day to day, trying to raise our children with good values with a hope they will be positive contributors to society; so much like those people in Arizona simply attending a political get-together.

I feel like Frankie Heck because I have no idea how to have an impact on my world beyond my small sphere of influence. I don’t want people to stop having opinions – I actually love a good debate. But I would like to regain our civility. And I do want us to live up to my daughter’s expectations. Just like Frankie who goes out of her way to make sure she’s there for Sue’s cross country track meet – no matter what she has to sacrifice to do it.

So I wonder, given this situation, what would Frankie do? And I realize, she would look at this situation the same way so many of us would: I need to operate within my sphere of influence. Based on that, I came up with a short list of things I can actually do:
  1. Turn off morning news shows. The network morning shows focus on the vitriol as entertainment. Don’t think so? Take a closer look. I want Katie to know about the news, I don’t want her to hear pundits and talking heads speculating and sparring. I used to have GMA on in the morning while we got ready. No more.

  2. Stop rewarding bad behavior. I am simply not going to support television people, radio people and others who offer no substance but a lot of hype. I have my list of who they are; you can choose your targets, but either way you slice it they need to be turned off. They don’t need to be on in my home. And if enough of us turn them off, they won’t sell advertising and maybe, just maybe, they will go away all-together.

  3. I vow to limit my vitriol. Most parenting is modeling. So I am making a concerted effort to monitor my reactions. When I disagree with someone, I am trying not to use a label (eg “that idiot”) and focus on explaining why I disagree. I am hoping Katie will learn more about my thought process and less about my extensive “off color” vocabulary.

Obama ended his speech speaking about little Christina who died so tragically last weekend. He spoke of the book being written about the children born on 9/11. He said:

“Christina was given to us on September 11th, 2001, one of 50 babies born that day to be pictured in a book called “Faces of Hope.” On either side of her photo in that book were simple wishes for a child’s life. “I hope you help those in need,” read one. “I hope you know all of the words to the National Anthem and sing it with your hand over your heart. I hope you jump in rain puddles.”

If there are rain puddles in heaven, Christina is jumping in them today. And here on Earth, we place our hands over our hearts, and commit ourselves as Americans to forging a country that is forever worthy of her gentle, happy spirit.”

My hand is over my heart. I am committed to working toward this goal. I look forward to having you join me – out here in the middle.

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Here’s something to remind you of connection we share with our children:

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