I am way too cool and too hip to be such a dud. I realized, while driving home from dropping off the kid at school, that there’s some insane super-ego voice in my head providing a constant narration of what everyone else is doing wrong.

Don’t try to hide, I saw you!

On the 2-mile drive this morning, I saw the following violations (in quotes as narrated by the insane voice):

“You are driving way too fast near this school, in the rain. Slow down chump.”

“Ha, ha, ha! When you cut through the gas station to try to avoid making a more sensible right turn at the light. Yet you still lose! Too slow!”

“Does your mother know you left the house in just a tee shirt when it’s pouring rain outside? Now you are going to be wet all day. How in the world can you learn if you are dripping and cold?”

“Trash cans are supposed to be out of the street within 24 hours of pickup. Now these things are road hazards in this darn rain.”

“How can your parents let you ride your bike in the rain? And without a helmet? Is this Darwin’s theory at work?”

See? I need to settle down. When did this happen to me?

I am not authoritative by nature. I am proud of my self-actualized existence; righteous in my commitment to acting on principle rather than rule. I can spout Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs to explain away much of human behavior. But how do I explain the paradox of seeing myself as being principled but requiring everyone else to follow the damn rules?

I see my reactions playing out in how Katie is looking at the world. She was born an old soul and actually does a pretty good job thinking things through (and questioning authority). Generally, she uses principled reasoning but she can be a rule follower when her friends are around. Being a role model is so hard. I can hear that voice yelling at me to stop screwing her up.

Aww crap. It’s time to go pick up the kid.

Do you have this voice in your head? I would love to hear your stories! Comment!