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Tag: Walnut Creek

Male survivors

Open Letter to the Male Survivors of the East Area Rapist

May 30, 2018

I’m not sure I want to know what happened inside my dad’s house. Larry Pool shared a lot with me and I know they both went through hell. But the way the story goes in my head, my dad was bound and as Charlene was being led away, I know his mind was reeling. After… More Open Letter to the Male Survivors of the East Area Rapist

4 Comments Open Letter to the Male Survivors of the East Area Rapist

It's me! Jen! And I'm cleaned up and about to see Trae Crowder in Santa Cruz. I'm even wearing a tiny bit of make-up. Wow.
Dinner before seeing Trae Crowder, December 5, 2024.

Jen Carole's 10 Commandments
(no hierarchy intended)

  1. People are more important than things - like tech, devices, sports, alcohol, and guns. Stop what you're doing and see them.
  2. Help others be successful. If you focus externally and on others, you will be nourished.
  3. Live with intention. Mindfulness is essential for effective agency so you can manifest what you want.
  4. Assume the best (generally). Most people have good intentions. Expect it. And give people grace.
  5. Seek to understand. We tend to fill in gaps with our bias, slow down, and clarify. Their experience is not your experience.
  6. Know your limits and red lines. Imagine how far you're willing to go to pursue your mission. Also, know when enough is enough. This is your armor.
  7. Past behavior predicts future behavior. Caveat: people can change, but it takes work; you'll know if they've done it. This rule is 98% reliable.
  8. Energy is contagious; it works for both positive and negative energy. Your energy will be reflected - so choose wisely. Coming in hot is typically unproductive.
  9. Don't provide feedback unless asked. If you feel compelled, that might be a you thing. Ask if they'd like feedback; if they say no, believe them.
  10. Always find the humor. I made jokes when my dad and stepmom were killed. Why? Because humor soothes the soul.
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