In part one, I talked about how toxic White Christian Nationalism provides cover for misogyny and racism. It’s built on power and control and is meant to hold down anyone unlike them. I called this “How to be a Great Guy” to offset part one. It was so depressing. And men are getting pounded.  I intended to focus on men here in part two, but that’s not enough.

To adequately fight the mind and physical control the white Christian nationalists want, we all need to become great guys. Let’s do it.

Good people have three essential qualities: empathy, integrity, and resilience.

Empathy means understanding and feeling the emotions of others. It makes you a compassionate, supportive partner, friend, or community member. It allows you to connect deeper, helping those around you feel heard and valued. People who practice empathy are likelier to build strong, meaningful relationships and contribute positively to their communities.

Integrity means being honest and upholding strong moral principles. A person with integrity keeps promises, demonstrates behavior that aligns with their values and does the right thing, even when it’s difficult. This quality builds trust and respect, making them reliable and principled individuals in personal and professional settings.

Resilience means not holding on to feelings that aren’t productive. Resilience means facing difficulties with strength and perseverance because life often presents challenges. You learn from setbacks, adapt to change, and remain positive, working to improve yourself and the situations around you. Resilience helps you grow and thrive through adversity, turning obstacles into opportunities for growth.

As society shifts towards greater gender equality, some men and women may feel uncomfortable or fearful about the changes. These fears are often rooted in outdated beliefs about gender roles and power.

But moving forward doesn’t mean anyone should feel threatened.

Good People Challenge the Patriarchy

Many men fear losing power when women assert control over their lives, careers, and bodies. Women can fuel this fear by acting helpless or powerless. But dismantling patriarchal systems benefits everyone.

Focus on Partnership, Not Power: Instead of seeing relationships as hierarchical, view partnerships as places where both partners share decisions. In a healthy relationship, both people contribute to family and career decisions without one person dominating.

Support Other’s Ambitions: You should actively encourage your partner in their career. Sometimes, men feel insecure about women’s success at work because they’ve been taught that men should always be the “breadwinners.” Supporting each other’s ambition—whether in education, politics, or business—means both partners benefit from each other’s growth.

See Leadership as Inclusive: Leadership is not a zero-sum game. When diverse candidates rise to leadership roles, they bring fresh perspectives that strengthen businesses and governments. People who support next-generation leaders can help build more inclusive, effective workplaces and communities.

Good People Share Political and Social Power

Some people fear women and people of color gaining political and social power will reduce their influence or shift priorities. But you can be a crucial ally in supporting policies that benefit everyone.

Advocate for Shared Social Justice Goals: Civil rights, reproductive rights, and economic equality affect us all. Work alongside activists who might need your voice to gain equality, recognizing that movements for equality create a fairer society for everyone. The fear of being “left out” can be replaced with a commitment to building a just, inclusive world together.

Listen and Engage in Conversations: Men can listen to women’s voices, particularly in areas where women advocate for change, like healthcare or pay equity. Listening to understand rather than refute helps create open dialogues addressing shared concerns.

Recognize That Power Can Be Shared: Political and social power shouldn’t belong to one race or gender (or religion). Shared leadership means diverse voices from all backgrounds have a say in shaping the world. Anyone who fears being marginalized can shift their focus to creating a system where everyone’s voice counts.

Good People Trust One Another to Make Their Own Decisions

Reproductive freedom is central to women’s independence. Some men fear losing control over family planning decisions, but supporting women’s autonomy in this area is crucial. Every human being should have the right to make decisions about their body.

Respect Bodily Autonomy: Anyone who supports reproductive rights recognizes that women, dare I say everyone, should have the ultimate say over their bodies. Just as men expect autonomy over their healthcare, women deserve the same respect. Supporting this autonomy doesn’t affect family planning decisions; partners can make informed, respectful decisions together.

Redefine Legacy for All of Us: In the old days, a man’s legacy was about passing on his name or genes. That notion is wholly outdated. Every person deserves a legacy, and that can be tied to the values you instill in your community, the kindness you show, and the relationships you nurture. Men can focus on creating a positive legacy through their actions, not just through family size.

Embrace Changing Norms: Traditional family roles are evolving, and that’s okay. Men can embrace new family structures prioritizing mutual respect, equality, and shared responsibilities. This creates a healthier, more fulfilling family environment for everyone.

Good People Work on Adapting to Cultural Change

Cultural shifts toward equality can feel unsettling for anyone raised in traditional gender roles or a protective environment. However, cultural changes create a more inclusive society.

Celebrate Diversity and Equality: People who embrace broad human participation in all areas of public life—whether in education, politics, or business—support a richer, more dynamic culture. They can see these changes as opportunities for growth, not threats to their identity.

Find New Ways to Express Masculinity: Men can redefine masculinity in a way that isn’t tied to dominance or control. Their real strength lies in empathy, collaboration, and supporting equality. Men who adapt to these new cultural norms will thrive alongside their partners and peers.

Value Everyone’s Contributions: In a world where all kinds of people contribute at all societal levels, we can focus on building environments where everyone’s talents are recognized. This benefits communities, workplaces, and families by fostering collaboration and mutual support.

Good People Encourage Economic Independence

Some people feel insecure when their partner has financial independence. But financial independence doesn’t mean a loss of power in relationships—it means stronger partnerships.

Share Financial Responsibility: When both partners are economically independent, they can make decisions together based on mutual respect. Financial independence doesn’t diminish a man’s role; it enhances the ability of both partners to build a life together that aligns with shared goals.

Build Confidence Without Control: Men can feel self-confident without relying on financial dominance. Real confidence comes from being a supportive partner, contributing to shared goals, and celebrating each other’s successes.

Encourage Equal Opportunities: We can champion equal pay and opportunities for underrepresented people in the workplace. This would create a more balanced, equitable society where everyone has the chance to succeed, regardless of gender.

Common Ground Strengthens our Relationships and our Democracy

Anyone willing to confront their fears about each of us strengthening our independence is an ally in building a future where equality, respect, and diversity flourish. By focusing on partnership instead of control and supporting every individual’s autonomy and contributions, we can work together to

help move America forward in a way that benefits everyone—without misogyny, racism, or fear.